I find myself in quite a precarious position. There is quite alot of hurt which is going through me now. On the one hand I am fully committing to jesus christ after my long endeavor to search for the truth. I am finding however that I am being attacked heavily by sin and I am finding it hard to overcome.
What is making the situation worse, is that the women who I am betrothed to is seeing another man and kissing him. She claims to be a good person who has not had sexual relations with him, in the past she has intermitted that she was and is madly in love with me, but yet she is unable to speak the truth and is still a captive of sin. It is very difficult for me as I have walked a long journey with her and it has been an arduous task for me to explain to her that what she and other people are doing is wrong. In fact it is sin which they are engaging in. It has been such a long and tiring process being the spiritual head and leader of the family as I have been drained emotionally by her due to her stubbornness and arrogance, she can’t simply do the right thing which she knows what the right thing to do is. But yet as a very typical women, with the mentality of how a typical women works, is that they simply can’t mentally do in their minds which they know is right but in fact have to go through the physical experience of what is right and wrong. I’m not saying that all women who strive to be godly are this way, but what I can say is the majority of them do go about their lives in this manner. It is so frustrating for me to see her arrogance and stubbornness to want to compete with her own husband in this way as she doesn’t want to feel inferior to what I am. It is ironic to see that on the outside she seems way more superior to what I am, but on the inside in truth, it is I who is the superior one purely what it comes down to is a question of ethics and morality. What we can see from my side, is that I refuse to sin, whereas she gives in caves in to sin either she is to weak to resist the sin or she is tempted by the lusts of her own desires. Either way we can see her falling. Now I understand how she being the weaker vessel how that there might be more temptation for her as she might think that she cannot defend herself physically in stature which makes her conceed to the devil and roll over so to speak. And this makes sense to me. I feel this is why she keeps on making the mistake over and over again. I feel like she knows and subconsciously, she is afraid physically for her life, which is playing tricks with her mind and making her paranoid and deviant.
What I can say to any fellow women out there from the perspective of a man, is that physical size is not a factor I the spiritual world and in fact king David was not a man of great physical strength or height. But what we saw was that God was always with him, and he was able to slay thousands of men and armies. Thanks be to God. So in saying this I am emporium women to be more brave in the society physically as well. And not to go on and on about feminism and what is wrong with men, but to rather shut their mouths and stop complaining about every little thing. The reason why they are complaining about every little thing is because they are victims in fact. They are victims of the devil because they don’t feel physically strong enough to protect themselves. However this is not the truth with God. What we can see with God, is that it is faith which saves a person from the devil and in Paul’s writings, he says this very clearly as he says hold fast to the faith and the devil will flee from you.
So yes I understand what she is saying to me, that she is being physically abused. But at the same time, it was her who put herself in the situation. Nobody told her to go and get a boyfriend when she was betrothed to another man. That was all her doing of her own accord. And the main reason why she put herself in that dangerous situation with an evil person like her boyfriend, is due to her stubbornness and arrogance. So on one side, we see her physical intimidation. And on the other side we see her stubbornness and arrogance.
What we can say about the situation in its entirety is that being stubborn and arrogance is an end product of sin. What we can say then therefore is that the reason why she has fallen into sin like most women and men..but how eve fell intonsin first, was because she was physically the weaker vessel.
But what we can say how God used David in the Bible that physical size really has nothing to do with the outcome of the result, but it is the measure of faith in christ jesus that matters the most.. or rather put according to the old testament of David, it is putting all of your endeavors in alignment with God’s purposes.
So in saying that, it is not right that women use the excuse, that they are the weaker vessels,because in fact with jesus christ at their sides, they are powerful beyond measure. It is a question of choice at the end of the day. Are you going to let the devil into your life or are you going to rebuke him in the name of Jesus christ. That is what it comes down to at the end of the day.
In my life, I choose now to live and submit totally to the care and guidance of my lord and savior jesus christ. The devil has been trying to attack me the entire afternoon. He has been attacking me with what the situation my wife has put herself in and it has been playing with my mind. Questions such as if she falls and I decide that I won’t marry her, then what am I going to think about. You know she has occupied such an extreme amount of my mental real estate, and to completely rebuke her out of my life where she has certainly had her hooks in me as I have let her.
But what I can say that if she had to fall, that my focus wouldn’t change. I would still put jesus christ at the center of my being. Yes it would be painful for a long time and my mind would want to wander and the devil would like tonremind me of how much I have failed once again in regards to relationships. However, I do have to remind myself that jesus christ is greater than sin and greater than fear, and this is what I am going to currently hold onto to get me through this next trying period. Amen. Thanks be to God.
Christian Hippy Monk 